


She Got My Heart In A Chokehold

by Machines_Analog_Interface



Series: Corpse Candles [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 4am-writing again, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Feels, Angstyland my darlings, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, First Kiss, First Meetings, Forgive my 6k wordvomit, Idiots in Love, Kara wrote a book about Lena (kinda), Love Confessions, My version of White Nights because I'm sucker for Dostoevsky's writing, One Shot, Past Character Death, This fic is a will-o'-the-wisp, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, also lots of fluff, au-ish, so be careful, technically fluff if you ignore the fact that they both tragically die later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:50:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11825268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Machines_Analog_Interface/pseuds/Machines_Analog_Interface
Summary: "There, you see, why did you drive me away? If I had been here, nothing would have happened....""I did not know you; besides I'm not a person who's fond of asking help... however that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for your help..." Her voice, god that voice..."Why, do you know me now?" Kara asked, arching eyebrow, trying to not smile. They came to stop, turning to face each other."No, but since you saved me from whatever just happened, may I know the name of my hero?" She asked with charming small smile and Kara's heart skipped a beat."I'm Kara. Kara Danvers." Blonde smiled brightly at her.The girl smirked as she held out her hand, "Lena Luthor." She drawled out and Kara grasped her hand, not shaking but just holding it and smiling at its owner.ORKara meets Lena at midnight and saves her from drunken man. Love ensues.





	She Got My Heart In A Chokehold

**Author's Note:**

> I came back from my downfall with what? Angsty, fluffy, bittersweet Supercorp trash.  
> You all know how my mind functions. It's all about your reviews so if you liked it enough then leave me one and let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> Special thanks to Lefthandedphoenix who made this readable. (You're amazing!)
> 
>  
> 
> _Title is from[Painting Greys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU0tKzy5-uE) by Emmit Fenn (I highly recommend to listen to it at the ending)_  
> 

* * *

   _To Lena_

_It’s harder than I thought, though_ _the fact that I started writing this is still something._ _I have never struggled to come up_ _with a subject of the first few sentences of the stories I have told. This, however, is a different… very, very different from what I used to write. How could one live and have no story to tell?_

_Sometimes we encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at the first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before world has spoken._

_My story is about that stranger._

 

* * *

It was cool night on the dark riverside of National City. A wonderful night, the sky was so starry, so bright that, looking at it, one could not help asking oneself whether ill-humored and capricious people could live under such a sky. Usually fussy and busy city died down and remained silent as a grave. That was the time when Kara Danvers would lock the doors of her apartment behind her and take a walk in the dark streets of the city, enjoying cool breeze wheezing her hair and watching another starry night.

It was not a particularly exceptional night for Kara’s midnight walks, except she didn’t  know that at the said night she’d meet the person that would change her life forever. Unaware of the fact, blonde strode down the side of the river, breathing in cool air of the night, letting it clear her thoughts and wash her stress of the day away.

She continued with her walk peacefully, occasionally humming something under her breath when she noticed dark figure nearby. Leaning on the riverside railing stood a woman with her elbows on the rail, she was apparently looking with great attention at the muddy water of the river. She was wearing a very charming black coat that was bringing out her feminine curves just in right light. From what Kara could see she had raven black hair, cascading down her shoulders, but young reporter couldn’t make out her face in the darkness of the street.

She did not seem to hear Kara's footsteps, and did not even stir when she passed by with bated breath and loudly throbbing heart.  _She must be deeply absorbed in something,_ Kara thought, not really knowing why that woman made her heart beat wildly in her chest but then, Kara stopped as though petrified, she understood what it was. She wasn’t mistaken when she thought she heard a muffled sob: the woman was crying. Her heart sank. And timid as she was, yet this was such a moment... she turned, took a step towards the crying woman.

"Miss, are you alright?" she asked before she could stop herself.

While Kara was looking for the right words, the girl came to herself, looked round, startled, casted down her eyes and slipped by Kara along the embankment. Young reporter at followed her; but the girl, divining this, left the embankment, crossed the road and walked along the pavement. Kara didn't dare to cross the street after her.

Along the same side of the pavement tall, not really young man came into sight, not far from the girl. He was staggering and cautiously leaning against the wall, clearly drunk, Kara assumed. The girl flew straight as an arrow, with the timid haste one sees in all girls who don't want anyone to volunteer to accompany them home at night, and no doubt the drunken man would not have pursued her, if Kara's gut feeling had not prompted her. Sensing the woman’s anxiety, Kara quickly crossed the street sneakily, following the duo quietly.

Suddenly, without a word to any one, the man set off and flew at full speed in pursuit of Kara's unknown lady. She was racing like the wind, but the drunken man was overtaking—overtook her.

The girl uttered a shriek, and ... Kara, bless her luck for having folding truncheon that Alex forced her to carry with her for her midnight walks, which happened on that occasion to be in her right hand. In a flash Kara was right behind obtrusive man, smacking his knee with the truncheon, she had taken his position, had grasped the irresistible argument, fallen back without a word, and only when she and a stranger girl were very far away from him, the man protested against Kara's action in rather vigorous language. But his words hardly reached them as they walked down the pavement rather hastily.

"Give me your arm," Kara said to the girl. "And he won't dare to annoy us further."

She took offered arm without a word, still trembling with thrill and terror. Oh, how Kara blessed that man in that moment. She stole a glance at her, she was very charming. Pale skin, raven black hair, striking grayish blue eyes, sharp jawline and sculpted eyebrows. The woman looked like a Royalty.

On her black eyelashes still glistened a tear from her recent cries but there was already a gleam of a smile on her lips. She, too, stole a glance at her, faintly blushed and looked down.

"There, you see, why did you drive me away? If I had been here, nothing would have happened...."

"I did not know you, besides I'm not a person who's fond of asking help... however, that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for your help..." Her voice, god that voice...

"Why, do you know me now?" Kara asked, arching eyebrow, trying to not smile. They came to a stop, turning to face each other.

"No, but since you saved me from whatever just happened, may I know the name of my hero?" she asked with a charming small smile and Kara's heart skipped a beat.

"I'm Kara. Kara Danvers," blonde smiled brightly at her.

The girl smirked as she held out her hand, "Lena Luthor." She drawled out and Kara grasped her hand, not shaking but just holding it and smiling at its owner.

* * *

 

_And this was how I met her for the first time. It’s been long since that day, but dear god… I remember that night as clear as sun on a morning sky. I walked with her all night, we talked a lot, about everything and nothing, losing track of time until sun raised and we had to part._

_Exchanging numbers we bid each other goodbye_ _and I returned to my apartment, the events of_ _the night_ _catching up on me and I instantly_ _fell_ _asleep on the couch. I dreamed about her then. Lena Luthor… what a wonderful creature I met…?_

 

* * *

“Okay, I admit. This really tastes good,” Lena mumbled and Kara grinned from ear to ear.

“Told you this place has the best blackberry pecan pie!” Kara declared victoriously as she took her bite.

“Easy there tiger,” Lena chuckled at the blonde’s antics, smiling at her, clearly amused by Kara’s excitement. “I still haven’t tried those fizzy candies you’re swooning over so much.”

“Oh, we’re definitely going to try them,” Kara said seriously and flagged down waitress, looking at Lena as she shrugged. “I want coke. What would you like?”

“Coke is nice and stuff, of course, but I’m more of a Mountain Dew person,” Lena said, grinning, as she finished her blackberry pecan pie.

“Aha… alright, whatever you wish,” Kara said with a wide smile and made an order.

Two pizzas and few sodas later, the couple was out in the cool night of the National City, walking in the darkened park while devouring box of Oreo cookies on their way. 

“…I mean, you come home, make some tea, sit down in your armchair and all around there's silence. Everyone decides for themselves whether that's loneliness or freedom.”

“So you like being alone?” Kara asked as she chewed on her cookie.

“I think if you don't know how to be alone, you don't know who you are,” Lena answered when she swallowed down the piece of cookie.

“Oh? This is what it is? You’re alone because you want to know who you are?”

“Can one really know who one really is?” Lena asked as she turned her head towards Kara. “Whatever we do, the only moment that defines us at last is the moment right before our death. I think that’s the only true time to know who we really are, what we really are capable of…. Otherwise one might get lost in the changes that circumstances are bringing into one’s life,” Lena said seriously. “Also, I’m introverted misanthropist and I really like being alone,” she said before smiling widely as Kara chuckled, shaking her head at Lena’s extra dramatic speech, though she couldn’t help but think about what Lena said.

“Tell me story,” Kara said and Lena blinked few times, furrowing her brows.

“My story? Who has told you I have a story? I have no story,” Lena said confidently

“Then how did you live if you have no story?” Kara interrupted, laughing.

“Absolutely without any story whatsoever. I have lived, as they say, keeping myself to myself. Utterly alone and free. Do you know what it means to be alone?” she asked back then.

“But how alone? Do you mean, you never saw anyone?” Kara asked, her brows knitted together.

“Oh no, I see people, of course, but still, I’m alone,” Lena answered as she plucked another cookie into her mouth.

* * *

 

_Nostalgia, it’s delicate, but potent. In Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone, a feeling of a place where we ache to go again but we can't for some reason._

_I used to wonder whose arms would I run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved. I didn’t have answer for this question back then but I certainly do have now._

_At nights I used to lie in my bed, crying. Now, I just lay there with a blank expression on my face. I never thought I'd get used to feeling this way, but I did. However, it doesn't mean that the hollow she left in me doesn't hurt anymore, because it hurts. Hurts like hell and I'm completely terrified of being like this for the rest of my life._

_Then again, I don’t regret a single moment from my white nights. Those spectacular, beautiful nights I have spent with Lena, walking down the dark streets of the city. If anything, those nights were the best part of my life._

_When I close my eyes she’s everywhere, but as soon as I’m awake she is never here. Not anymore. If I close my eyes I still can recall every shade of her chameleon eyes, darting from blue to grey to hazel to green. Always filled with some unspoken, buried emotions one can’t recognize unless they know her truly._

 

* * *

 It was a cold night; sky clear from recent raining, and scent of ozone filling the air. The couple on the riverside was walking down the street, talking on their way, exchanging small smiles and stealing glances at each other. She couldn’t remember how she got to it but Kara found herself asking:

“Okay, and what do you think happens after death?” Kara asked, tilting her head to look at the woman walking beside her.

“Oh, lots of things happen after death. They just don’t involve you anymore,” Lena stated nonchalantly and chuckled.

“That what you really think?” reporter asked with raised eyebrows.

Lena shrugged and smiled, “I read this poem, named ‘The Gravedigger,’ really long ago. It was about how people forget their dead. Main character observes a widow and a widower at tombs of their beloveds. At first the author argues with Gravedigger, who says that those two would be fast to forget their dead, but after witnessing the young widow fall in love with the widower that she has met at the cemetery where her husband was buried, the author gives up the argument, finally able to see what the Gravedigger meant when he said that the memories about a human end at their tomb.” Lena sighed. “I really loved that poem…. I learned it when I was three,” she kept smiling

“Do you still remember it?” Kara asked then and Lena tilted her head in thought.

“A little… yes, the ending was the part I liked the most…” she said with that distant, sorrowful smile of hers that made Kara’s heart clench.

“Would you read it to me?” she asked and Lena stopped, looking at Kara curiously for a moment

_“Rest in peace, rest in peace, bones of forgotten beings..._  
_You no longer exist in memories of living beings..._

_Rest in peace, your sleep is deep and eternal..._  
_Your graves need no more roses and flowers..._

_What will tears of mortals bring to you?..._  
_there is no power, which will rises you from dead..._

_It happens on the earth - Everybody lives, everybody dies,_  
_And woe to those, who forget about the death in life..._

_It is grieve again... Grave digger is forging silver coffins,_  
_For those two, who forgot about their bitter fortune..._

_He is forging, thoughtful about life, smiling from bitterness..._  
_Grave-digger knows, he knows, how it happens... how it should happen..._

_Rest in peace, rest in peace, bones of forgotten beings,_  
_In your being I have many dreams during sorrowful times.”_

“It’s beautiful…” Kara mumbled, biting her bottom lip, as she stared at the woman in front of her in wonder.

“It really is,” Lena whispered, her eyes darting down to Kara’s lips only to snap back up immediately. “It sounds a lot better in original language…”  she added quietly, and Kara nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure it does,” Kara smiled and the couple continued their walk; they were silent for a while but it didn’t last long as Lena spoke up.

“My father used to tell me that when a person dies and no one will miss them, the mourning is assigned to a random human. This is why you sometimes just feel sad without any real reason.”

“Do you believe in that?” Kara asked with a smile and Lena shrugged.

“No, not really… but I like the idea of it.”

* * *

 

_I remember one day Lena asked me what I thought of her. It was a simple question, not intended to pull out some deep-meaning answer from me. I took a moment to think, trying to put what Lena was like in words…_

_She was a color in a black-and-white movie. She was oxygen in a vacuum. She was a snowflake on my tongue in the summer._   _Nastenka to my Fyodor._   _The best kind of company, for the worst kind of behavior. She was far from sane, but she was the right kind of crazy... the kind you get addicted to. She was a proof that you can walk through the hell and still be an angel._

_I wanted to tell her this so much that while I kept silence it hurt physically. She looked so young, so beautiful and I honestly couldn’t understand how someone could meet her and not keep her. And that's when it hit me, I was completely and utterly in love with her. She wasn’t anything I’ve ever experienced before and from that moment I knew that I’d love her forever._

_It was a tragedy to think that her lips have never been kissed by the only soul that could set them on fire. I was arrogant enough to hope that this said only soul might be me someday if I was blessed enough._

_Daniel Saint said, “If you wish to be a warrior, prepare to get broken. If you wish to be an explorer, prepare to get lost and if you wish to be a lover, prepare to be both”. But dirty chandeliers still shine… and broken hearts still beat._

_I also remember what Sigmund Freud used to say about love… “We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.” And god, Lena was the only person with whom I truly was completely defenseless. And as much as this feeling was terrifying me, it excited me._

_Potential heartbreak never scared me. In order to be happy with what you have now you’ve gotta dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt,_   _sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth. I know pretty well that the life is too ironic to fully understand it. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence. And I’m certainly not gonna wait for absence to value the presence of the only woman that plagued my mind from the first time I saw her. I have watched humans destroy their lives and give up chances because of what ifs. I like to believe that I’m capable of more. Being more. More than what people might think, more than what ifs, more than my insecurity, more than my loneliness and more than my fears._

_Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts. But even without them, they have meaning. Sometimes more than someone’s whole life might ever have. Next time we saw each other, I bought for her a single white Gardenia. The symbol of secret love. Never have I ever been so foolish to think that Lena wouldn’t put much thought into a simple flower. She knew the meaning of white Gardenia, I saw it in her eyes… the way she looked at me the moment I handed her the flower. I never underestimated Lena’s thoughtfulness and intelligence ever since. But it didn’t stop her from surprising me with each passing beat. I don't understand how someone can be so addictive..._

 

* * *

 Kara and Lena walked into the museum hand in hand, walking down the empty halls as they observed the pictures. It was special exhibition of William Bouguereau’s artwork in the museum outside of National City. Lena, being the miracle she was, managed to get them inside at night, when they could enjoy the sight before them in peace. While Lena looked at paintings, Kara looked at Lena and all she could think about was how well Lena, the masterpiece with a heartbeat, would fit between all those priceless artworks.

“This is my favorite,” Lena said as they came to stop in front of Bouguereau's Dante and Virgil in Hell, painting dated 1850.

Kara observed the painting carefully, from the winged horrible creature at the top, to the two men at the bottom. Redhead man was biting into brunet’s throat with force, the latter holding his head back with his hair, trying to tear him off his throat.

“Having failed on two occasions to win the Prix de Rome in 1848 and 1849, Bouguereau was hungry for revenge. His early submissions to the Salon revealed this fierce desire to succeed. After his ambitious Equality before Death in 1849, the young man aimed to make an impression once again. He put forward an even larger painting inspired by Dante, whose work was much loved by the Romantics and who captured all its dramatic beauty,” Lena explained, while she stared at the magnificent painting in front of her. “This painting was inspired by a short scene from the Inferno, set in the eighth circle of Hell-”

“The circle for falsifiers and counterfeiters…” Kara muttered and Lena’s eyes snapped towards her, filled with awe as she smiled widely at Kara.

“Yes, exactly,” she said and turned her attention back to the painting. Oh, how Kara wanted Lena to look at her like  _that_  again. As if Kara held the whole world inside her and just gave Lena a tiny glimpse of it, “where Dante, accompanied by Virgil,” she continued with a smile, reaching for Kara’s hand, “watches a fight between two damned souls: Capocchio, a heretic and alchemist is attacked and bitten on the neck by Gianni Schicchi who had usurped the identity of a dead man in order to fraudulently claim his inheritance.”

“Why is this one your favorite?” Kara asked and Lena hummed.

“Gianni Schicchi throws himself at Capocchio, his rival, with a strange fury,” she said and pointed at the men in the center of the painting, “Bouguereau depicts magnificently through muscles, nerves, tendons and teeth, the struggle between the two combatants. There is bitterness and strength in this canvas... strength is a rare a quality,” Lena said and Kara nodded, looking at Lena in mixture of awe and surprise.

They continue their journey inside the museum quietly, exchanging their opinions over some paintings or artists themselves.

“Which artwork won your heart?” Lena asked and Kara fought the urge to say  _yours._

“I liked The Nymphaeum…” she said instead and smiled, her eyes flitting around the large hall.

“Oh?” Lena raised eyebrow. “Why so?” she asked then, small smirk playing on the corners of her magnetic lips.

“Because of the origin of the characters in the painting. They’re nymphs, the creatures way too pure for humans. Too pure for their perverted thoughts, their dirty eyes and their weak hearts. They are creatures so lonely and so difficult to understand… yet so hypnotically beautiful… loneliness comes for them as easy as breathing and idea of them falling in love with mortals, falling in love with selfish mortals, is as beautiful as it is tragic but still too much for their tender hearts. And by their nature they’ll love forever, and though their beloved is no longer with them, it won’t stop them from loving. If they fall in love then they will love till the end of times. Can you imagine how terrible it is to love something that death can touch?” Kara talked and Lena couldn’t tear her eyes away from her, suddenly taken aback by admission of young reporter.

“This is why you liked it?” Lena can’t help but ask as Kara turned to her immediately,

“No,” she answered simply, stepping towards her as she cradled Lena’s face in her palms. “I  _loved_  it because they remind me of you. The nymphs… way too pure for human’s heart to love. But even with my faulted heart, love comes to me as easy as breathing and I might as well stop breathing than stop loving you,” Kara said, searching for Lena’s eyes. “I kept telling myself over and over that I wasn’t allowed to fall in love with you, I couldn’t even look at you for too long because I knew I would... instantly.” And with that Kara brought their lips together, in soft, tentative kiss into which Lena responded to just as softly.

* * *

_I heard someone say that if you don't end up smiling while you are kissing someone, you are probably kissing the wrong person. Then I knew, I was kissing the one and only right person that world gifted me with._

 

* * *

 The events of this gala were quite tiring, one could say. Of course, if by tiring they meant Lillian Luthor disapproving Lena’s choice of partner, again. Even though she knew Kara for two years now. Kara stood her place beside Lena firmly, her hand protectively pressed on the small of Lena’s back as mother and daughter argued. Brunette barely contained herself when Lillian not so subtly insulted Kara. To which Kara herself responded quite firmly, backing up her girlfriend and not giving any mind into this woman’s words but Lena certainly did. She all but snapped at her mother, forcing her to leave the gala, practically kicking her out as Lillian huffed out angry breath and stormed out of the building courtyard.

Now Lena was on the dance floor, looking severely uncomfortable with this new investor she was currently dancing with, keeping polite smile on her face for her company’s sake. That was when Kara decided to cut in and end Lena’s misery as she approached the pair.

“May I?” she asked and didn’t bother to wait for an answer as she snatched Lena away from the man and led her further into the dance floor, away from him. As soon as they were out of his sight Lena sighed and dropped her head on Kara’s shoulder.

“Ugh, you’re lifesaver darlin’...” she mumbled and smiled when laughter reverberated through Kara’s body.

“Well, I couldn’t leave a lady in misery, could I?” Kara shot back with a grin, and Lena rolled her eyes good heartedly, smirking up at Kara.

“ _My_   _hero…_ ” she drawled, coy smile finding its way to spread on Lena’s lips.

Kara leaned down, capturing Lena’s lips in lingering soft kiss as they danced around the ballroom, losing track of time.  By the end of the event, both Kara and Lena were tired out of their minds as they made their way towards car, Lena’s driver –Lucas– being the angel he is, taking them to their apartment, avoiding heavy evening traffic on their way.

The couple stumbled up the stairs of lobby, launching themselves into elevator cabin. They haven’t parted since their last dance, holding hands in public, and then cuddling when in the car and now hugging in the elevator, both with closed eyes and barely hidden yawns.

“I don’t know what I’d do with my life without you… you're my lifeline,” Lena mumbled when they lied together in bed, both facing the other.

“Neither do I…” Kara said and caressed Lena’s cheek with her knuckles. “I love you… so, so much Lena Luthor…” she said and Lena surged forward, pressing her  _oh_  so soft lips to Kara’s in passionate kiss.

“And I love  _you_ , Kara Danvers, more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything before,” she replied and scooted closer, burying her face in Kara’s chest as young reporter held her closer, wrapping her arms around Lena and closing her eyes as Morpheus claimed them both.

* * *

 

_My sweet, fragile Lena... still so beautiful, so stubborn, so smart. Oh but don’t mistake fragile for being fragile as flower. She’s fragile like a bomb._

_Look at me Lena, after all this time... you are still the gun whose barrel I would like to hold in my mouth and then beg for a bullet. A broken heart is the worst. It's like having broken ribs. Nobody can see it, but it hurts every time you breathe._

_Sleep sound, my love, God is witness you deserved rest, though you are not beside me, you're within my heart and without a doubt you'll be in my dreams again. I’ll dream of all the times we used to spend together, though I can’t recall days. After all, we do not remember days, we remember moments._

* * *

 Kara was in the car with her precious fiancée; it was one of the brightest nights, so bright that one couldn’t distinguish it from winter’s misty morning. They were heading towards Alex’s place. Lena was driving, and they listened to music in comfortable silence, holding hands.

God… it’s been four years now. And there they were. Still smitten by each other, in love like children, still holding hands and still giving each other flowers. As for Lena, even after four years Kara kept bringing her white Gardenias even though their love was no longer secret. For Kara, on the other hand, Lena always used to give her white Plumerias and Tiger Lilies.

It was a beautiful night; their windows were up since it was freezing cold outside, instead heating system turned on, letting the warm, artificial breeze thread though their hair as they listened to the music, enjoying the calm of darkness that surrounded National City’s outskirts.

“Did Alex order potstickers?” Kara asked and Lena laughed.

“Yes Kara and she also ordered pizza, some extra for you as well, stop worrying about food,” Lena said with light tone, amused by Kara’s genuine concern about food.

“Oh good, or I’ll eat  _her_ ,” Kara said, erupting another wave of laughter from very amused Lena.

“Yeah, I’m sure you will,” Lena said with a fond smile.

Kara lifted their joined hands and kissed Lena’s knuckles; Lena looked away from the road briefly to smile at Kara, who flashed her back same warm smile.

“I can’t wait two months; we should get married tomorrow,” Kara whined and Lena chuckled.

“I’m sure we can–”

 Lena’s words were cut off by loud sound of truck horns and Kara’s voice, screaming her name; salon of their car suddenly filling with light and then deafening sound of metal crashing and screeching against the road surface filled the air.

Kara blinked her eyes open, she was hanging upside down, safety belt holding her in her seat while their car was turned upside down, her head was spinning and aching and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to regain upper hand over her body and not scream in pulsing pain all over her head. First thing she did was call out for Lena, who was hanging from her seat unconscious, with head bleeding. Kara panicked, screaming Lena’s name, trying to shake her to wake her up.

Only then Kara noticed that their car was knocked off from the road and crashed into tree, random branch piercing through the windshield, right into Lena’s stomach. Then Kara realized that blood dripping down Lena’s face was not from the cut on her forehead.

She struggled with her seatbelt for a moment before successfully unclipping it and falling flat on her head on the roof of the car. She quickly regained composure and crawled towards Lena.

Somewhere between Kara’s desperate cries, Lena lazily blinked her eyes open, wincing at the pain in her stomach, and  _everywhere_  actually.

“What the…” the brown-haired woman muttered, trying to analyze the situation they have ended up in.

“Lena! Oh my god, I thought I lost you… don’t move!” Kara shrieked as soon as Lena tried to move and cried out in pain. “I’ll call 911, just don’t move, okay, you’ll be alright,” she assured, scrambling for her phone.

“Hey… K-Kara?” Lena called out, struggling to breathe properly.

“Yes? What is it, love?” Kara asked, crawling towards the door where her phone lied.

“Please don't forget me and all the things we did together,” she pleaded, already aware of the fate that awaited her.

“No, no! Don’t you dare speak to me like that! I’ll take you to the hospital and you’ll be okay,” she stated, trying to choke back sobs, her voice wavering.

“As long as you remember me I don't care if everyone else forgets,” Lena muttered and smiled at her, reaching out to hold Kara’s hand.

Blonde moved towards her fiancée, cupping her face and kissing her softly, muttering promises of their future together.

“I love you Kara, I  _love_  you so,  _so_  much,” Lena whispered, tears spilling down her temples.

“I love you too, more than anything,” Kara sobbed.

“You were right; we should have got married already,” Lena said with watery smile, causing Kara to chuckle between sobs.

“Well, I was telling you this past three months, you dummy,” Kara said, smiling, as tears kept spilling down form her eyes.

"We'll get married. But first we need to get out of here..." Lena said, gesturing towards doors that were approached by hurried footsteps from outside. 

"Carpe diem baby," Kara said and Lena laughed. It was the last time Kara heard that sound.

* * *

 

_Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?_

 

* * *

 It’s been a year now since the day of the accident. Since the day when all Kara’s life shattered into billion tiny pieces. And yet, she was here, in the cold night of February in front of the snow-covered tomb of her beloved. Kara winded her fingers against the cold stone, clearing it form the thin layer of snow that covered the cursive letters engraved on it. 

> **Lutessa Lena Luthor (** **1993 – 2021)**
> 
> _“If I could collect all happy moments of my life together it'd be enough for short movie but the end would be tragic anyways.”_
> 
> _Loving fiancée and amazing friend_

Sure thing, Lena knew how to leave on a dramatic, yet heart-shattering, note. Kara smiled as Lena’s laughter echoed in the back of her head. She sat in front of the tomb, not caring about wetting her clothes. She was sleeping on Lena’s grave for a very long time since Lena’s funeral. It was nothing new for her now. She pulled out journal from the pocked of her coat and started scribbling something furiously, tears dripping down her cheeks, freeing in cold air.

She sat there, writing, for a few hours, occasionally sobbing or chuckling and eventually she put the pen in the side of the journal and closed it shut, shoving it back into the pocket of her –Lena’s– black coat. Same coat she wore at the first night they met. She was finally finished writing, she managed to collect every memory in her mind about Lena, too scared of the idea that someday she might forget. That one day she’d wake up and couldn’t recall the shade of Lena’s eyes anymore, the sound of her laughter anymore, the astonishing light of her smile anymore.

Kara lied down on the ground, just six feet above from where Lena was resting. She could feel cold seeping into her bones and when, finally, she couldn’t feel cold anymore she smiled, tears spilling down from her eyes and dipping into the ground. So she wrote; it took her a year but she wrote it. She wrote every single blissful and sorrowful moment she had spent with Lena. In the back of her mind echoed Lena's muffled scream when officers cut off the branch that punctured her stomach. Vibrations from the chainsaw shaking the piece of wood inside her... it was awful enough to hear, not to mention feel it. That was the only memory Kara wished she had forgotten.

“Told you I’m better than that widow. I never forgot you,” she whispered, caressing the ground underneath her hand as if she was caressing Lena. "Maybe memories of people really do end at their tombs but I made sure ours won't end here. I've collected them all. I promise."

* * *

 

_I loved her the way she was, there, sitting on my couch semi-drunk, glass of red wine in her hand while she watched Animal Planet._

_I loved how sophisticated, yet simple, person she was. The way her eyes used to sparkle whenever she was looking at me, the way she was lightening up when we talked about what she was passionate about._

_How she could turn from literal genius mastermind to silly child that enjoyed arguing over candy flavor and Mountain Dew._

_How in love she was with art, not being aware of the fact that she was a masterpiece herself._

_How she used to smell like lavender and wintergreen, her hand always cold but her eyes always so, so very warm._

_I loved how her lips used to feel against mine, her hands intertwined with mine, her body flushed tightly against me, the way her breath hitched in her throat when I kissed that secret spot on her neck that made her knees go weak._

_I loved how she was falling asleep on my couch, on top of me, after particularly tiring days at work. I loved how she’d drift off instantly as soon as I’d start to massage her tensed up muscles on her neck and shoulders, scratch her scalp and caress her eyebrows and temples softly, trace outlines of her face while she slept, caressing her chiseled jawline, traced her lips with mine ever so softly, too afraid to awake her._

_I loved her restless mind, always so overwhelmed with unstoppable train of thoughts that wouldn’t let her sleep. Nights like this we used to take a walk, talk, maybe cry or laugh, do anything we used to do since the day we met for the first time._

_I loved the way she used to bite her lip whenever she was in deep thought, trying to hold back a smile, keep herself from making any noises or trying not to laugh. I loved how perfectly we used to fit together, how we used to make time for each other, how we still used to be best friends even when we became something more._

_This was Lena Luthor, the person with an immortal soul trapped in a mortal body of a Goddess._

_Mortality… One might not really understand how much cruelty this simple word can contain. But I certainly have understood it. And even though I wish I haven’t, I can’t find myself regretting a single moment I have spent with Lena._

_I loved Lena. I still love her and I’ll love her as long as I’m breathing and even after then. The only thought that keeps me alive is that Lena loved me back. And_   _nothing feels better than being loved by someone who hates everyone._

_Time…. It’s such a catchy thing. One second you have it and the next everything is gone. Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around in it, let it slide like sand through your fingers. So much time you can waste…. But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know._

 

* * *

_White Nights - Sorrowful epiphany of victims of the unfortunate circumstances._

**_ Note to reader from publisher: _ ** _Lena Luthor passed away in 21 February 2021 at St. Marie’s hospital on an operating table. Kara Danvers was found dead on top of the grave of her late fiancée, frozen in cold on one year anniversary of Lena’s death. The body was found by her sister who also found journal where Kara was writing about her life with Lena after her death. Final lines were last notes Kara wrote before she froze to her death. Kara was buried next to Lena by request of her family at Greenwood Cemetery in National City._

_Written by Kara Danvers (1991 – 2022)._

_Published by Cat Grant in 2025, by special request of Alexandra Danvers._

©CatCo

* * *

 

> **Kara Danvers (1991- 2022)**
> 
> _"Unable are the loved to die... for love is immortality"_
> 
> _Loving fiancée and sister_

 

_ In loving memory of Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor. Lost but never forgotten. _

 

**Author's Note:**

> The Gravedigger full poem is [Here](https://cryptidmcgrath1983.tumblr.com/post/164230325993/grave-digger)  
> The first painting by Bouguereau [Dante And Virgil In Hell ](https://cryptidmcgrath1983.tumblr.com/post/164273913758/william-adolphe-bouguereau-1825-1905-dante-and)  
> The second painting by Bouguereau [ The Nymphaeum ](https://cryptidmcgrath1983.tumblr.com/post/164273930248/william-adolphebouguereau-1825-1905)


End file.
